I honestly wish I could make up a witty joke to follow through with the title of this post, but unfortunately St Patrick's Day celebrations have got the better of me. I have lost several thousand brain cells, and my stomach and liver are in a fierce battle with the green shots and subsequent KFC consumed last night in honour of the great Saint.
What a weekend its been. The Irish contingent were out in force, and everyone else was claiming Irish ancestry, well not during the Ireland Italy match of course, but apparently our ancestors really got around. The 'power shower' and 'how now brown cow' impressions were being thrown around like nobodies business.
I celebrated St Paddy's a day early in O'Neill's, which was, as you can imagine, covered floor to ceiling in shamrocks and leprechaun hats. If I am honest, my real celebrations were actually due to the England defeat in the Six Nations. I know we Irish can't exactly talk after our pitiful performance in this year's championship (honestly, losing against Scotland AND Italy. Shameful, just shameful) but after all the abuse I have received over the last few weeks my joy is perfectly justified.
The England fans didn't seem to understand why the Italians, Scots, Irish and even Aussies were supporting the Welsh. I'm not even sure I can fully explain it myself. It is just simply AOBE- anyone but England. That's just the way it is.
But my St Paddy's celebrations didn't end there. We continued the all day drinking into the evening and to a bar that is swiftly becoming one of my favourites. The Underdog in Clapham is free entry, has a great range of music including some timeless classics, and the bar staff even danced Coyote Ugly style on the bar. The serial song requester struck again last night, and it was very nice after requesting One Direction to not have the DJ actually laugh in my face and ask if I'm being serious, which happened to me a few weeks ago (just do your job and play my god-damn song!). Now don't judge me for that, firstly because it's St Patrick's Day so that is definitely racist, and secondly, 1D may be a bunch of little cretins, but their songs are really catchy!
Naturally after midnight, and therefore officially St Patrick's Day, the shots began and well, it just went downhill from there. All in all I have had a thoroughly drunken St Patrick's weekend, and yes, I even ate a heavily potato based meal for breakfast. Irish stereotype well and truly lived up to!
So, I raise my glass to you, well a metaphoric glass, as the thought of alcohol makes me want to retch. Here's to Arthur*. Here's to Saint Patrick. And here is to all those who are, or claim to be, Irish.... so basically everyone then.
Happy St Patrick's Day, and may your hangovers be as mighty tomorrow as mine is today.
*Arthur Guinness - no further explanation needed.